Saturday, December 29, 2007

Marquisdejolie's 2007 In Review

A review of the 288 videos I uploaded to online video hosting sites in 2007.  
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Monday, December 24, 2007

I Was On Steroids

A nonfiction repressed memory about steroid usage in the military while competing for a presidential martial arts sports award brought on by the current baseball steroid scandals.  
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Sunday, December 23, 2007

Bad Hair

People talk about their bad hair days, but my hair is under investigation.   
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Friday, December 21, 2007

Where Teeshirts Come From

An educational video on where tee shirts come from. "Indiamaze" by Embryonica http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/   
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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Hay

An educational video on hay, how it looks and what it is used for. "Relax" by blackturtle.us http://www.blackturtle.us/  
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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

My Worst Videos

A brief montage of my worst amateur videos. A series. soundtracks composed from Garageband and/or iLife/iMovie   
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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Snake Sacking In Taylor, Texas

Part of a travel log series on places to see in Texas by train, this episode reveals a good place in Texas to win some cash sacking rattlesnakes.  
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Even More More Bad Videos

Another brief montage of some of the worst amateur videos I have uploaded. A series. soundtracks composed from Garageband and/or iLife/iMovie   
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Monday, December 17, 2007

More More Bad Video

Yet another montage of some of my worst internet amateur videos. A series. soundtracks composed from Garageband and/or iLife/iMovie   
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Sunday, December 16, 2007

More Bad Amateur Videos

Another montage of some of my worst internet amateur videos. A series. soundtracks composed from Garageband and/or iLife/iMovie   
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Bad Video Montage

A brief montage of some of my worst internet videos. soundtracks composed from Garageband and iLife   
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Something To Embarrass Her Little Brother With

My granddaughter tricks her little brother into starring in an embarrassing video.  
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Friday, December 14, 2007

When Bad Video Makes Its Comeback

I salivate for the day when the slick, scripted, contrived, professionally-produced tv sitcom-emulating internet video fad is over and bad video makes its comeback, because I will be ready. soundtrack composed from iLife   
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A New Years Holiday From My Friends

Avoiding (and being avoided as) a holiday pest.   
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Bad News

Pointless drivel about our culture resulting from playing around with Photoshop and Garageband software.  
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Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Man Whose Breath Stood Still

A nonfiction story about bad breath and the customer who plunged me into new depths of stink at the gas station where I worked.  
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Monday, December 10, 2007

Belated Halloween

Belated Halloween wishes from the Simpsons, starring Kendal, Robert, Piper and Jimmy. Grandkids in their Halloween outfits going trick or treating.  
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Christmas Tangle

It's the annual untangling ritual.  
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Princess Tinkerbell

Grandaughter Piper tells a moose joke and explains her royal title. soundtrack composed in Garageband   
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Least Favorite Part of Mom's Job

Latest in a series of videos my granddaughter is making on family life with the Simpsons. This episode is about mom's least favorite part of her job.   
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Sunday, December 09, 2007

The Horn

Part 48 of a 50-part series on Amtrak passenger train travel across America as viewed by an east Texas amateur videographer. This episode: The train horn, outtakes.  
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Why Piper Can't Go To School

An interview with my grandaughter Piper as to why she is not allowed to go to school. soundtrack composed in Garageband   
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Ms Kolat Is The Devil

An interview with my grandson Robert where he opines that one of his teachers must be the devil. soundtrack composed in Garageband  
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Friday, December 07, 2007

NBC Says No Thanks For U.S. Troops






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Scott's Natural Habitat






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Homeless Betty

Animated prose about a homeless woman on Crenshaw Blvd we called 'Betty The Bomb' because we never knew when she would go off.   
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Bad For You

Making videos to upload on the internet is bad for you. It decreases your sex drive, isolates you socially, causes acid reflux, alienates your partner, is bad for your blood pressure, is fattening, causes tooth decay and a host of other health problems.   
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Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Langtry And The Pecos

Part 47 of a 50-part series on Amtrak passenger train travel across America as viewed by an east Texas amateur videographer. This episode: Langtry Texas and the Pecos River, outtakes.   
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Problem With A's






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Monday, December 03, 2007

Kimchee In The Kitchen






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How To Photoshop A Resume

Animated description of how to create a bad resume with Photoshop.   
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I Ate Your Cat

Confession of a cat eater. I ate your cat. It was delicious. Thanks for getting him fat. Got another?   
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Attack of Camera Shy Boy

Grandchildren do not like to be videotaped too much.  
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City Sights New York

Kiosks and tour buses in the greatest American city.  
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How To Wobble In Manhattan

More and more professional cinematographers and commercial graphics houses are entering the online video market to compete with amateurs for eyeballs. This is a how-to video for them.   
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Sunday, December 02, 2007

Karmageddon

Word of the day.   
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Orange Groves Outside Ontario

Part 46 of a 50-part series on Amtrak passenger train travel across America as viewed by an east Texas amateur videographer going to Hollywood to be in a documentary. This episode: paving over orange groves outside Ontario. Music by rextangle and his mystery woman http://www.rextangle.com/  
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Saturday, December 01, 2007

Caffeinated

Spoken word I composed in Garageband about our over-caffeinated lives. Related website: http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/
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Day Of The Cabbage Patch Turd

A nonfiction story about plumbing the public restroom at the gas station where I worked in a crack neighborhood, a tale of personal challenges the day Cabbage Patch left a huge turd in our toilet.  
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Friday, November 30, 2007

Guess Where I'll Be






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Bad Burritos

Butt-wiggling Photoshop animation of my reaction to a TV news alert warning of ten thousand pounds of bad burritos escaped and running loose in the city. Soundtrack composed in Garageband.  
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A Tour Of The Simpsons

Handing my granddaughter a disposable video camera, I asked her to make some videos. So she made this tour of the Simpson family, starting with grandpa's stinky concoctions.   
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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Palm Springs

Part 45 of a 50-part series on Amtrak passenger train travel across America as viewed by an east Texas amateur videographer going to Hollywood to be in a documentary. This episode: Palm Springs. Music by rextangle http://www.rextangle.com/  
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Interbore News

These people who get behind a desk and make videos pretending to be real news broadcasters irritate and bore me. The videos look like job resumes. If I wanted to watch someone reading the news, I would turn on the TV. I own a TV.  
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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

First Day Off

Prosaic song about the joys of a well-deserved day off. Music created in Garageband.  
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Ghost of Xmas Future

What Christmas is going to look like: kids, family, presents.  
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Big Assed Angry Tigress

Nonfiction prose about life at a weekly rate crack motel.   
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Monday, November 26, 2007

Back Yard Sea Hunt

I handed my granddaughter a disposable video camera and asked her to make some videos for me. So she made this backyard sea hunt adventure in which she finds a sea monster with more teeth than grandpa...but just barely more.   
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Habitat, Sort Of

Living in a drafty old house with bad wiring in the walls, a cracked foundation, bad plumbing, no heat, leaky roof and no insulation is just a half step above homelessness, only with taxes. Somebody call Habitat for Humanity!  
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Wooleyboogers

Part 44 of a 50-part series on Amtrak passenger train travel across America as viewed by an east Texas amateur videographer. This episode: wooleyboogers and whirlygigs in the desert. Music by rextangle http://www.rextangle.com/   
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Sunday, November 25, 2007

Thirsty

Thirst in Shreveport, Louisiana. Experimental humor.  
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Germ Warfare

The South Texas Germ Warfare Standard Deviation (Where CanI Get A Surrogate Brain?) Biological Flu Blues By Jolie Blond I'd gotten to feeling sophisticated, secure in myself, smug, and then I learned humility when brought down by a bug. The bug has got a hold of me, the doctors cannot kill it. My brain won't work, my nose won't stop, my throat burns like a cheap, worn skillet. I tried my mom's herbology, I starved and stuffed and pilled it. When whiskey failed to do its stuff, I hot tub tried to cook it out distillate. As strong and wise and educated as I had gotten to be, I couldn't even defend myself from this tiny viral flea. So if you're feeling superior to the day's circumstantial turns, just remember all your best laid plans can be altered by a germ.  
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Friday, November 23, 2007

Goodbye Cruel Mistake

A hobo poem about freightyard love and lust by Jolie Blond. That's me.  
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Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Milk Crate Chronicles

A nonfiction tale of milk crate desire in a crack neighborhood.  
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Videographic Peer Pressure

I feel pressured to make videos on the same subjects everyone is making videos about. A spoof.  
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