Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Case of the Anemic, One-Egged, Ten Dollar Omlet

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I very recently moved from Los Angeles, California to Marshall, Texas. I am nocturnal. Marshall isn't. I really miss Los Angeles' fine dining at 3 a.m., but I have some high school friends who live in Marshall, so I thought I'd ask about my prospects of finding something non-franchised to eat in this catfish barbeque town:

"Dear Dottie,

How's that "Suzie's Sweets" place next to your job? Pretty reasonable? Good food? Every time I go to check them out, they're closed. I guess me and Suzie's Sweets are temporally incompatible, out of sync, ill-fated.

I'm nocturnal. Is there anywhere decent to eat at 3 a.m. in Marshall? I miss Greek food.

I tried the Waffle House on 59 one morning. Got the $7 breakfast special and a side order of one single, plain omelet. They tried to charge me $17 for the meal. Even acted petulant when I raised a fuss about the $10.00 omelet. Said they "might" have made an adding error.

"Might" my fat Cajun ass. They thought I was a tourist passing through on my way to the boats and tried to gouge me, I'll betcha, I'll bet.

Now, I've HAD a ten dollar cup of coffee (at the Beverly Hills Hotel Polo Lounge) and a ten dollar omelet (at Jerry's Deli in Marina del Rey), but this was no REAL ten dollar omelet The Waffle House was trying to palm off on me, let me tell you, boy howdy! This was an anemic little popcorn fart of an omelet...a one egger!

Foul play, I say! Fowl play!"

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