Hunting The Yankee Waddler

Tags: deer season, duck season, Yankee Waddler, factotum, fearmongering, media, viral video, hysterics, gun control, jarvis

Hunting The Yankee Waddler
by Jolie Blond
03/21/01

Hysterics and fearmongering!
Hysterics and fearmongering!
The TV people
don't want you to own a gun,
because if you look too closely
at the fall lineup,
you might be tempted to drive over to the station
and shoot them.

I saw this on the news tonight:
According to some wizard of statistics,
the number one cause of infant death
(in Maine or Massachusettes
or some other yankee state)
is the murder of their mothers.

Someone is running around
shooting pregnant women
on a grand scale.
Funny that I'm just now hearing this shit.

Deer season,
duck season,
first, second and third trimester
mother season:
doesn't seem much sport
in shooting a slow-moving, big-breasted
yankee waddler.

This hysterical tidbit
on the tv news
was delivered with wide eyes and a solemn tone,
a 'something must be done about this' tone.

It seemed a thinly veiled
anti-gun propaganda thing to me,
but I could be wrong.

The overall feeling of the piece
was that if you owned a gun,
you were probably a baby killer.
Details at 11.