Green Thoughts And Spam

Tags: Stupidity Scholarship, placement exam, ECC, TSTC, St. Mary's, factotum, jarvis, viral video, nontraditional student, marquisdejolie, moron, idiot, pinhead, roommate, anaclitic, androgalactozemia, blowze, bromidrosiphobia, coprophagous

Green Thoughts And Spam
by Jolie Blond
08/09/01

My roommate got a
Stupidity Scholarship
from our community college
because he made terrible grades
on his placement exams.

My roommate doesn't think well
under pressure,
it is a fact
they surely measured.

He doesn't think well in a car,
he doesn't think well door ajar,
he doesn't think well in a house,
he thinks not much without a spouse,
the louse.

He doesn't think well
in the sun,
go ahead and test him
just for fun.

He doesn't think well in the kitchen,
I'll bet you think it's jealous bitchin',
he doesn't cogitate I'd guess
or ponder long without some mess.

He can't conjecture I suppose,
he's troubled thinking past his nose.
He cannot ponder, muse or pose,
It's hard to tell just WHAT he knows.

He has no craving for a thought
unless the TV says he ought.
I'll apprehend and you'll surmise
a lot of stuff gets by this guy.

He doesn't picture or conceive,
now THERE's a thought for some relief.
He fancies not to ruminate,
opine, regard or speculate.

He doesn't think well I would reason
in summer, spring or football season.
I fail to see him contemplate,
I think a thought would crack his pate.