Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Modern Educayshun
Hilarious video. Reminds me of my so-called "education" at Liberation Theologist, Diabolical Dialectical, Fair Traded St. Mary's University in San Antonio, Texas.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Drinking Song Inspires Video
Sometimes folks ask me where I get the inspirations for some of my more bizarre, off-modern culture videos. From poetry, of course!
Drinking Song
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
INSCRIPTION FOR AN ANTIQUE PITCHER,
Come, old friend! sit down and listen!
From the pitcher, placed between us,
How the waters laugh and glisten
In the head of old Silenus!
Old Silenus, bloated, drunken,
Led by his inebriate Satyrs;
On his breast his head is sunken,
Vacantly he leers and chatters.
Fauns with youthful Bacchus follow;
Ivy crowns that brow supernal
As the forehead of Apollo,
And possessing youth eternal.
Round about him, fair Bacchantes,
Bearing cymbals, flutes, and thyrses,
Wild from Naxian groves, or Zante's
Vineyards, sing delirious verses.
Thus he won, through all the nations,
Bloodless victories, and the farmer
Bore, as trophies and oblations,
Vines for banners, ploughs for armor.
Judged by no o'erzealous rigor,
Much this mystic throng expresses:
Bacchus was the type of vigor,
And Silenus of excesses.
These are ancient ethnic revels,
Of a faith long since forsaken;
Now the Satyrs, changed to devils,
Frighten mortals wine-o'ertaken.
Now to rivulets from the mountains
Point the rods of fortune-tellers;
Youth perpetual dwells in fountains;
Not in flasks, and casks, and cellars.
Claudius, though he sang of flagons
And huge tankards filled with Rhenish,
From that fiery blood of dragons
Never would his own replenish.
Even Redi, though he chaunted
Bacchus in the Tuscan valleys,
Never drank the wine he vaunted
In his dithyrambic sallies.
Then with water fill the pitcher
Wreathed about with classic fables,
Ne'er Falernian threw a richer
Light upon Lucullus' tables.
Come, old friend, sit down and listen!
As it passes thus between us,
How its wavelets laugh and glisten
In the head of old Silenus!
Drinking Song
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
INSCRIPTION FOR AN ANTIQUE PITCHER,
Come, old friend! sit down and listen!
From the pitcher, placed between us,
How the waters laugh and glisten
In the head of old Silenus!
Old Silenus, bloated, drunken,
Led by his inebriate Satyrs;
On his breast his head is sunken,
Vacantly he leers and chatters.
Fauns with youthful Bacchus follow;
Ivy crowns that brow supernal
As the forehead of Apollo,
And possessing youth eternal.
Round about him, fair Bacchantes,
Bearing cymbals, flutes, and thyrses,
Wild from Naxian groves, or Zante's
Vineyards, sing delirious verses.
Thus he won, through all the nations,
Bloodless victories, and the farmer
Bore, as trophies and oblations,
Vines for banners, ploughs for armor.
Judged by no o'erzealous rigor,
Much this mystic throng expresses:
Bacchus was the type of vigor,
And Silenus of excesses.
These are ancient ethnic revels,
Of a faith long since forsaken;
Now the Satyrs, changed to devils,
Frighten mortals wine-o'ertaken.
Now to rivulets from the mountains
Point the rods of fortune-tellers;
Youth perpetual dwells in fountains;
Not in flasks, and casks, and cellars.
Claudius, though he sang of flagons
And huge tankards filled with Rhenish,
From that fiery blood of dragons
Never would his own replenish.
Even Redi, though he chaunted
Bacchus in the Tuscan valleys,
Never drank the wine he vaunted
In his dithyrambic sallies.
Then with water fill the pitcher
Wreathed about with classic fables,
Ne'er Falernian threw a richer
Light upon Lucullus' tables.
Come, old friend, sit down and listen!
As it passes thus between us,
How its wavelets laugh and glisten
In the head of old Silenus!
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Tags: drinking, drunk, drunken, poetryTuesday, December 08, 2009
Why Me?
Momma asks the age old question of misery: "Why did God give me this stinking situation??" when confronted with my sister's nightly drug tirade. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Sunday, December 06, 2009
E.R. Adjustments And A Wet Shopping Day
Momma and Beth come back from a whole day of emergency room overdose treatment, medication adjustment, and a little shopping in the rain. An episode of my Rednecks On Parade series. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Nursing Home Threat Vrs the ADP Boogeyman
My sister Beth threatens momma with incarceration in "the nursing home" if momma doesn't give Beth the keys to momma's car. Momma counters with the local Adult Protective Services boogeyman, Rodney King. I shoot the whole thing through my door because I don't like to unlock it after 2 a.m. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Another Night In Addict Paradise
My sister Beth and my momma Joyce argue over the Xanax. Again. Forever. Notice at 1:17 where Beth wants to go with the 25 Xanax....to "the casino", a 40-minute drive in the middle of the night to Shreveport's gambling boats. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Absentee Redneck Yardsale
Beth decided that she was going to have a piney woods outdoor sale of estranged commonlaw hubbie Steve's stuff but she won't even stick around for her own yard sale. Soon as she got $10, she ran off to the store to liquor up. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Friday, November 20, 2009
Milk Crate Move-Out Inventory
One day not too long ago, I got tired of living in the drunkard's section of the piney woods of east Texas and decided to make a milk crate inventory of what it would take to move my stuff back to Callie. I was not pleased with my results. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Skeeter Hawk Parley
Momma commences to palaver about horse flies, skeeter hawks and dragonflies with Big Nose and parleys the gossip into a set down visit. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Momma's New Son Tryouts
Momma auditions neighbor Terry for a position opening up soon in her family. He thinks the job requires disposing of the previous job holder (me) first. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Twisted Amenities
In my sister's twisted mind, anything she buys for herself to wear or eat is an "amenity" to us since she didn't force us to pay for it. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Delusional Yard Sale
Beth and momma try their hand at yard sale selling again, this time with nothing to sell. That's redneck optimism! Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Shrill
If you listen REAL careful, you'll hear the shrill call of the piney woods Mommagimmeedoforme Bird. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Bluster
Before the new fridge came, Beth managed the old one like she manages everything, through uninformed declaration and proclamation. "It works fine. Spoiled food won't hurt you. Cheese is supposed to be brown. What, me worry?" A flash from the past. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Beth Outs Momma
Beth tries to blackmail momma into giving up some recreational drugs by calling momma's best friend, Churchlady Irene, and spilling the family beans about momma's Xanax addiction. An episode of my Refrigerator Top series. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Beth In Repose
Watch the Video
My sister Beth takes a moment to bask in the warmth of taxpayer sponsorship. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
It Just Won't Stop Raining Here
Watch the Video
Nine days in a row of constant rain. I feel like we're going to wash away here in the piney woods of east Texas. For sure my evil sister's car is. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Monday, October 12, 2009
Stealing The Neighbors Fire Pit
Watch the Video
I don't get it. My sister won't do a lick of yard or housework at our house but she'll set to work burning up the neighbors' yard trash when they move out. Music courtesy Kevin MacLeod. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Last Weekend of Jawbreakers
Watch the Video
Monday I'm getting all my teeth pulled out so this weekend will be my last ever weekend of jawbreakers. Music courtesy Kevin MacLeod at Incompetech.com. Distributed by Tubemogul.
Formats available: Quicktime (.mov)
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